职场情侣不好办 如何才能生活好.

　　When David Kurtz was browsing for engagement rings for his now-wife Rebecca, he sought advice from his "work wife" Christine, texting her photos and consulting her on styles until he found the perfect art deco number. He and Christine shared an office at a tech startup, putting in 14-hour days and working closely with each other. Christine helped Kurtz every step of the way in his courtship of Rebecca, from screening online dating profiles to editing his emails and suggesting outfits.

　　戴维库尔茨在为自己现在的妻子瑞贝卡挑选订婚戒指时，曾向“工作配偶”克里斯汀征求意见。他把照片发给她，向她请教戒指的款式，直到找到最完美的那一款。他与克里斯汀在一家科技初创公司共事，两人共用一间办公室，每天在一起“打配合”的时间有14个小时。库尔茨追求瑞贝卡的整个过程中，克里斯汀一直在为他出谋划策，包括筛选网上约会资料，编辑电子邮件，以及提供服装建议等。

　　"I clearly remember her getting me dressed for my first dates with my wife," says Kurtz, a Los Angeles-based entrepreneur. "When she came to my wedding, I had to thank her in front of everybody, &aposChristine helped me not screw this one up.&apos "

　　来自洛杉矶的创业者库尔茨说道：“我清楚记得，我与我妻子第一次约会的时候，是她帮我打扮着装。她来参加我的婚礼时，我在所有人面前感谢她：‘多亏了克里斯汀，我才没把那次约会搞砸。’。”

　　It seemed natural for the two to become close at work, in a pressure-cooker startup environment. Christine was married with a child, and romance was off the table from the beginning. Bore long, Kurtz was picking up her dry cleaning, and she was grabbing his prescriptions at the pharmacy.

　　初创公司的工作环境处于高压，这两位似乎很自然地就成了亲密的同事。克里斯汀已经结婚，还有一个孩子，两人从一开始就不可能发生什么“浪漫的故事”。很快，库尔茨就开始替她取干洗的衣服，她也会帮库尔茨去药店买药。

　　The relationship made work more fun, because they were more interested in each other&aposs projects, Kurtz recalls, and their shared understanding of the work environment made it easy to discuss ideas or share advice. "It&aposs of great value to have someone who knows what you&aposre talking about," he says. "You can&apost always turn to your spouse or girlfriend and have them understand what you mean about work."

　　这样的关系让工作充满了乐趣，因为他们对对方的项目会更感兴趣，库尔茨回忆道。而且，两人对工作环境达成的共识让他们可以非常轻松的讨论想法或分享建议。他说：“工作中，有人能够理解你在说什么，这一点非常可贵。你不可能总去找爱人或女朋友，让她们理解你对工作的想法。”

　　When work and personal lives blend

　　当工作与个人生活纠缠不清时

　　The phenomenon of a "work spouse" is a natural outgrowth of the 24-7 work culture in many industries, says Brad Karsh, president of JB Training Solutions and author of Manager 3.0. "People talk about relationships they&aposve had for years with their work spouse. If it&aposs managed and handled appropriately, it&aposs perfectly fine," Karsh says.

　　芝加哥培训服务公司JB Training Solutions总裁、《经理人3.0》(Manager 3.0)一书的作者布拉德?卡什表示，在许多行业，“工作配偶”现象是“每周7天，每天24小时”工作模式的必然产物。卡什说：“人们会讨论与工作配偶多年的关系。如果这种关系处理得当，会非常完美。”

　　Spouse-like partnerships at work are more common in industries where people with different job functions need to pair up frequently. In advertising, for instance, copywriter-art director teams might work closely together for years or even decades, sometimes leaving the same company to go to a competitor as a team. Law enforcement partners experience the same kind of bond. And writing partners Julia Moskin and Kim Severson rer to each other as "work wives" in their food book CookFight: 2 Cooks, 12 Challenges, 125 Recipes, an Epic Battle for Kitchen Dominance, which chronicles a cooking challenge that tested their friendship.

　　如爱人般亲密的同事关系在不同职务之间需要经常配合的行业里更为常见。例如，在广告业，文案团队与美工团队经常数年甚至数十年一起密切合作，有时候甚至会整个团队一起跳槽到竞争对手的公司。执法合伙人之间也有类似的关系。写作拍档茱莉亚?莫斯金与吉姆?西弗森在两人合著的烹饪图书《厨房大战：2位厨师，12项挑战，125份食谱，一场史诗般的厨房争夺战》(CookFight: 2 Cooks, 12 Challenges, 125 Recipes, an Epic Battle for Kitchen Dominance)称呼彼此是“工作中的爱人”。书中按时间顺序记录了考验两人友谊的烹饪挑战。

　　Having someone you trust completely in the cubicle next door certainly has its advantages. That sort of close colleague may understand situations and anecdotes in a way your non-work friends or actual spouse may not.

　　工作时与自己可以完全信任的比邻而坐肯定有它的优势。这种亲密的同事可以以一种工作之外的朋友或真正的配偶不可能有的方式，理解工作中出现的状况和趣事。

　　"It allows you to share and bounce ideas off somebody you trust," says Karsh, noting that someone with a work spouse may think twice bore leaving that employer for a competitor because of the power of that relationship. "Coworkers are the unsung heroes of employee retention."

　　卡什说：“这种关系可以让你与一个信任的人分享自己的创意，或者向他征求意见。”他发现，凡是有“工作配偶”的人，在计划跳槽去竞争对手那里之前，会再三考虑，正是因为受到这种关系的影响。“同事是留住员工的无名英雄。”

　　Sears Holdings Co. (SHLD) associate buyer Scott Nash, 27, says "it&aposs like a little shot of energy" when his work wife Adrianna Davila stops by his desk, or when he visits her side of the floor. He relies on Davila&aposs advice in his work on the Jaclyn Smith line for Kmart, since she could actually wear the clothes. And he credits her help in describing his accomplishments to support his recent promotion -- not to mention her previous suggestions that aided his performance in the first place.

　　西尔斯控股公司(Sears Holdings Co.)副采购经理、27岁的斯科特?纳什说，每当自己的“工作配偶”安德丽娜?达维拉到他的办公桌前，或者自己去她的办公桌前时，“都像打了一针兴奋剂一样。”在为凯马特(Kmart)采购杰奎琳?史密斯产品时，他对她的建议言听计从，因为她可以实际试穿。就在最近，斯科特获得升职，这得感谢达维拉协助他陈述业绩;而让斯科特更为感激的是，为了帮助他提升绩效，达维拉之前还向他提出了自己的宝贵建议。

　　Soon after Nash started as an assistant buyer, he began to question whether he should keep sitting silently in meetings with external vendors who wanted Sears to carry their products. Should he der to his superior, the buyer for the line? "I wasn&apost sure when I should speak up versus when my buyer should speak up," Nash says.

　　纳什最初是一名采购助理，之后不久他就在想，在与外部供货商的会议上，他应不应该继续一言不发。这些供货商都希望西尔斯能采购他们的产品。对于采购的产品，他应该听从上级，也就是采购经理的指示吗?纳什说：“我不确定自己什么时候应该坦率地说出自己的想法，还是等我的采购经理提出来。”

　　He took the question to Davila, who encouraged him to share his ideas. After he followed her advice, his boss and other team members noticed that he was speaking up more, and expressed appreciation for the change. The two have become so close that when Davila&aposs roommate moved out, Nash moved in this past August. The change has actually lessened their interaction at work, since they have more time together at home. They no longer have lunch every day and will save some conversations to have in the privacy of their apartment.

　　于是，他去征求达维拉的建议，她鼓励他和别人分享自己的想法。他听从了她的意见，结果他的上司和其他团队成员都注意到，他开始更多地表达自己的观点。他们并对他的这种改变表示欢迎。之后两人的关系愈加亲密。去年八月，达维拉的室友搬走之后，纳什便搬过来与达维拉同住。这种改变实际上减少了两人在工作中的互动，因为两人在家里的时间更多了。他们不再每天一起吃午饭，有些话则是在回到公寓的私密空间后再说。

　　A few words of caution

　　警惕职场伴侣带来困扰

　　Getting too close with a work spouse can cause problems ranging from inappropriate sexual conduct to concerns from colleagues about favoritism or misplaced allegiance. Nash is gay, so there&aposs less concern about romance blossoming with Davila. But if you become too closely aligned with a coworker, others in the office may still become uncomfortable -- for instance, coworkers may come to worry that you&aposll share all of your interactions with your work spouse.

　　与工作配偶的关系太过亲密可能引发各种问题，比如不恰当的性举动，以及其他同事对于偏袒或错位的忠诚等问题的担忧等。纳什是同性恋，这便减少了与达维拉迸发“爱情火花”的担忧。但如果你与一名同事的关系太过密切，其他同事仍可能感觉不舒服——例如，其他同事可能担心你会把与所有人的互动与工作配偶分享。

　　"There have to be boundaries," Karsh says. "What becomes dangerous is when these relationships begin to extend and become more personal. One happy hour is okay. Four happy hours in a row is not okay."

　　卡什说：“工作配偶必须保持一定的界限。当这种关系开始扩展，变得更加私人时，便会变得非常危险。一个小时的快乐时光，很好。可连续四个小时的快乐时光就有问题了。”

　　For one, you don&apost want your actual romantic partners to feel threatened or uncomfortable. Second, you don&apost want colleagues wondering whether there&aposs something going on, or worrying that they can&apost include you on a project or team without also including your work spouse.

　　首先，你不希望自己真正的爱人感觉受到了威胁或不舒服。其次，你也不希望其他同事怀疑，你们两人之间是不是有什么名堂，或者他们会担心在一个项目或团队中，如果你的工作配偶无法加入，可能也无法让你参加。

　　Danny Cowan, 25, a senior account executive for a public relations agency in San Francisco, realizes that he&aposs perceived as interconnected with his work wife Rebecca Andreassen, also 25. "People recognize us as close buddies, so if either one of us is in a sticky situation," coworkers may become uncomfortable talking about it with either one of them, Cowan says. "It immediately links us."

　　25岁的丹尼考恩是旧金山一家公关公司的高级客户主任。他意识到，同事们认为他与自己的工作配偶、同样25岁的瑞贝卡安德亚森相互之间有亲密关系。考恩说：“人们认为我们是亲密的伙伴，所以如果我们有一个人遇到棘手的事情”，同事们在与两人中的另外一个讨论这件事的时候，就会很不舒服。“很快就把我们两个绑在一起。”

　　Thus far, Cowan and Andreassen&aposs connection hasn&apost led to any miscommunications or discomfort, but it&aposs a possibility he keeps in mind. Cowan is gay, so concern about a sexual relationship is limited. Andreassen appreciates having a male perspective on both work and personal problems, finding that Cowan is more direct than a female friend would be. "He&aposs very blunt with his advice, which is nice," she says.

　　到目前为止，考恩与安德亚森的关系还没有造成任何误会或不适，但他一直警惕发生这种情况的可能性。考恩是同性恋，所以关于性关系的担忧有限。安德亚森也很感谢考恩在工作与个人问题中，能从男性的角度为她提供一些建议。她发现考恩比女性朋友更加直接。她说：“他的建议非常直率。”

　　Karsh encourages people who have work spouses to branch out from that one close relationship. While it may be more comfortable to always turn to your spouse for advice or companionship, force yourself to cultivate other coworker-friends. "Try to create and foster relationships with other people that don&apost include the work spouse so you&aposre not perceived as joined at the hip," he says.

　　卡什鼓励有工作配偶的人们不要局限在这种亲密的关系中。虽然向工作配偶征求建议或寻找慰藉让人感觉更舒服，但还是应该强迫自己也要与其他同事培养友谊。他说：“培养与工作配偶之外的其他同事之间的关系，这样别人就不会认为你在工作中是谁的‘死党’了。”